Dysthymia

Joy, where have you been?

Honesty, to whom it may concern

I can't promise much, except I will fail you. I will let you down, and you will let me down. I will let God down over and over. I'll look to things created for my joy. I'll turn my back on those He bled for, and forget the times we shared and the people we touched. The things I wrote with you and the things we helped each other through.
This is for stubbornness. For letting myself go for months alone rather than forgive a best friend. Can you relate? And for the ridiculousness of going through life pretending.
Also, valuing the image of something rather than the thing itself. I'm sorry for this. There's much I would like to say, but have been advised not to.
I would like to move, but not to travel. Not yet. I would like to be open without fear of consequence. I would like understanding and peace, for myself, and for everyone.
I want Truth. And a silver platter would be nice too... Just ask. It's scary sometimes.
Goodnight.

A Thought

I see the future when I see my dad come home from work and only welcomed by the dog.

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me." -Abe Simpson

We all go the same way... and I think about that a lot.

The LORD sustains me.
The LORD sustains me.
The LORD sustains me.

"To be loved, you have to be nice to others, EVERYDAY! To be hated, you don't have to do squat." -Homer Simpson

Let's Go Find Something Real

"From here on out I'm only interested in what is real--real people, real feelings. That's it. That's all I'm interested in. You're real." -Almost Famous

4 Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.

Psalm 25:4-6

Bring Hope

So blogging. Opening up. Being vulnerable to a machine, and at the same time, untold millions. If you're lucky. Or? We'll see.
So forgiveness. I need help in this area. Being able to love even when it hurts. Even when my beard gets ripped out of my face and I'm cursed and spit on... No, it's not that bad. Not even close.
But love. I'm called to love without partiality. Not without Christ will that ever happen.
I'm quite insecure, really. I'd rather have my birthright now than wait for this wonderful plan to unfold.
Help me forgive. Help me love.