Dysthymia

Joy, where have you been?

Honesty, to whom it may concern

I can't promise much, except I will fail you. I will let you down, and you will let me down. I will let God down over and over. I'll look to things created for my joy. I'll turn my back on those He bled for, and forget the times we shared and the people we touched. The things I wrote with you and the things we helped each other through.
This is for stubbornness. For letting myself go for months alone rather than forgive a best friend. Can you relate? And for the ridiculousness of going through life pretending.
Also, valuing the image of something rather than the thing itself. I'm sorry for this. There's much I would like to say, but have been advised not to.
I would like to move, but not to travel. Not yet. I would like to be open without fear of consequence. I would like understanding and peace, for myself, and for everyone.
I want Truth. And a silver platter would be nice too... Just ask. It's scary sometimes.
Goodnight.

A Thought

I see the future when I see my dad come home from work and only welcomed by the dog.

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's 'it' seems weird and scary to me." -Abe Simpson

We all go the same way... and I think about that a lot.